Comments before closing ...

Georg 1 - collage

2006-04-14T05:33:00.000-07:00

Georg 1 - collage
Originally uploaded by casaberg.

Finally, I have found a picture of my life... I am always trying to get these pieces to match and align, and fit seamlessly together. Somehow they have these white edges that don't match the colors very well. I find that the romantic, the professional, the family man, the young kid and many other personalities are all inside me, and it never comes together in a complete picture.

Some people know some parts of me, and others know other parts of me, and some people know quite a bit of me, but even then there are pages that they have never seen.

Carousels

2006-03-20T10:49:00.000-08:00

Some days it feels like we're going around in circles... Work, school, home, sleep, alarm, and we do it over....

Sometimes I just want to get off this world... I want to crawl into my own cave, and not tell anyone where I am (for a year or two).

I just got back from a week vacation and I don't feel like I have had any rest.

Some friends have been really supporting me, and without them life would really suck.

A wet guy :)~

2006-03-02T02:55:00.000-08:00

A wet guy :)~
Originally uploaded by Magnitude26Quake.

I don't know if you're checking this. But life has been pretty crappy recently. My stress level is up. And I don't like that.

I left my phone at home today! :( Real bright!

Talked to Doug a little after sending the long email. He's still putting the blame on me, and saying I don't trust him. I told him that his problem is that he links trust and money together. I dropped off-line in his conversation and he is pissed at me. I feel crummy, but I'm done.

It hurts, but I'm not taking more abuse from him about who's wrong and why this is my problem.

Sexy Guy

2006-02-28T14:31:00.000-08:00

Sexy Guy
Originally uploaded by mjsjdd.

The eyes in this picture just want to draw me in. There is a classic look, like Michelangelo's David here.

The way that he's looking, and the moment that the photographer has caught in this picture you just want to see it chiselled into marble.

I Love You

2006-02-28T14:10:00.000-08:00

I Love You
Originally uploaded by mjsjdd.

I want to write this on trees, buildings, park benches, and across the sky. But with all the yearning in my heart to shout this to the world, I don't know what is happening.

With one guy that really drives me crazy, I don't know where he is, why he doesn't call and that he's doing right now.

Doesn't he know the pain that I am in? I feel like I'm going back to a catatonic state of existance. When I'm depressed I have trouble moving from one project to the next. I have trouble reading, writing or speaking with out just thinking of him.

Last week I was excited.
Last week I was anticipating.
Last week I was ready for love.

It has been almost a full week since I've talked to him, and I don't know why. Part of my heart keeps pulling me down. My friends tell me that I've been shafted.

But, there is a part of my heart that teels me he's not gone to England. He wouldn't do that to me. He knows how much it hurt last time we talked about it.

I'll keep a part of my heart waiting until he returns.
I'll keep the candle lit in the window.
I'll sing a song of hope.
Until then, I'll sing "over the rainbow."

Exhausted & Frustrated

2006-02-24T22:30:00.000-08:00

xhausted.2241
Originally uploaded by gaywayz.

It's been a whirlwind 6 weeks, and at this point I don't know where I am. I've given my heart in ways that I can't explain to everyone. Some friends know what extents I've gone to, and even they are telling me that I'm being taken advantage of.

Because of him, I live...
Because of him, I am alone ...
Because of him, I have my heart broken.

At this point I'm just alone.

Sleeping The Way It Should Be

2006-02-23T22:44:00.000-08:00

pic-l2
Originally uploaded by dennisfacalifornia.

This is the part of my life that is missing. I need someone that is so comfortable with me that we can actually fall asleep in each others arms. Right now, any time a guy is in my arms, I'm so excited that I can't sleep.

I just yearn for this peace and tenderness. There are guys that send tingles through my body when I look at them. Then there are ones that I haven't even met that have captured my heart, and their promises make my heart beat faster. I may be a sucker for a pretty face, but there are words and commitments that tell me about the people I know.

It is not the story that gets me, it is the man behind the story. So far I have been a pretty good judge of character with the people that I have met on line. Yes sometimes I have committed a little more to some people than others think is wise, but you should read my email closing to understand how I commit myself to people that I believe in!

This picture is a dream for me! I hope that someday it will come true! To really get all that I see in this picture may mean giving up quite a bit in my life; but there are guys that I think are worth it. Sometimes I wonder if they are willing to accept what I have to offer.

Instinct Photos

2006-02-23T22:20:00.000-08:00

jan06_ss_1lg
Originally uploaded by dennisfacalifornia.

This is a picture from the magazine Instinct. They have some of the most amazing photographers, and this may be one of the best pictures to ever come out of their pages.

Not only are the abs fantastic, but the most amazing thing about this pic is the eyes, and that steady glare he gives you. I just want to come up to him and help finish taking that shirt off, wrap my arms around that gorgeous body and push my tongue into that mouth.

After that, who's going to keep track of what happens. LOL

Isn't this the man that Gay America has made the ideal for all of us?

My first post...

2006-02-23T21:59:00.000-08:00

I am entering the 21st Century and enjoying blogging about what is happening..

My style is to show you a picture the I feel expresses the emotion, and then to write my comments. Your project is to be deciding if you find the picture and the words in sync.